When relationships go through a rough period or break-up there is a tendency to cast blame. That blame is either directed at the other person or yourself depending on your personality and a variety of other factors.

The problem is that both reactions are driven by strong emotions.

In business you can do the same thing. Every time something goes wrong you can look for someone or something to blame.

However, this does not actually do you or the business any long-term good. Your customers really don't care about excuses. They care about results.

You need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and see the truth. You need to be able to look at your business and see the truth. You need to be able to see the truth in others.

Anything less and things may come back to haunt you.

The first problem is the human mind is a lens shaped by our genetics, environment and past. What you see and what I see are different. The truth or reality is different for each of us.

The trick is to determine what you want to be like and then determine objective measures to see if you are really like that. The same applies to your business.

The second problem is you can't change someone else. Even if it is you, there is nothing I can really do to force you to change. You can only change yourself. So if your outcome is not what you want you have to change yourself in some way or change the way you interact with others.

For your business, you can't change the people either. You can change environment or the process/systems. You can build an environment of learning and a culture of change. But ultimately, it is the people working in your company who will either adapt or not. In reality what changes they make, will be up to them.

If you need to radically change direction, it is likely not realistic to assume everyone else will want to move in that direction and that is fine. You can't force it.

However, you can make it more successful by involving the people in the change and having a culture of trust and openness. People change when they see a reason; something in it for them that is worth the effort and discomfort (pain).

Unless you are perfect, everyone can change for the better. Everyone can improve how they interact with others.

As I lead our business into 2010, I realize that change is required. We will be heading into new products, partnerships and service offerings that will impact everyone at some level. But I will not ask anyone on my team to do what I am not willing to do myself. It's not you; it's me (that needs to change).

See once you realize this, the sky is the limit.