Lately I have been thinking a lot about the influence of criticism and negative thinking on yourself and others. I have two major motivations:
- I want to grow as a person,
- I want to support our companies mission (To help people achieve their full potential).
Have you ever met someone who is perpetually positive about everything? How about the opposite?
Yet the reality is most people, myself included, are usually somewhere in the middle. We go through highs and lows emotionally and express those feelings externally in how we deal with others.
Our frame of reference, beliefs, other feelings and a host of other things come into play as well.
How Do You React?
When someone shares their idea, goal or dream with you how do you react?
Are you a realist who feels compelled to point out why they most likely won't succeed? Why they are better off playing it safe or doing what you would do? Are you implying or stating "you are not good enough to do that"?
How Could You React?
What if you flipped it and gave that person your support?
What if you genuinely got interested in what they were doing and cheered them on?
What if you spent your effort helping them succeed instead of quit.
They might still not succeed.
Then again they just might.
What Drives Success?
The market is filled with successful businesses and people that were told they would not succeed by some or many people. Yet they achieved success regardless.
They probably had enough inner confidence to see it through on their own. Or maybe they had enough of the right people believing in them to drive up their confidence.
Success is first a frame of mind. If you believe you can succeed, you are 10x plus more likely to succeed and stick it through the hard part of execution; especially when things get tough.
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. This is because the consequence of doing so can kill other innocent people and destroy lives. The risks are no longer things you can bounce back from and others had no say.
Friends should let friends risk failure. Because when you risk failure you also risk success. More importantly you grow as a person from the journey.
So let's create more success by encouraging it.
Personally, when someone tells me I won't succeed at something I really want to do, I just dig in and try harder… prove them wrong. But I would rather have your help and support as that is a positive motivator.
I am not saying blindly agree with everything someone says or does. Sometimes the best thing we can receive is the right advice. Just be aware of the effect of the advice, how it is delivered and whether the person is open. Most importantly look at your motivation; do you really want them to succeed?
Don't be fake. Be authentic.
Afterall, Your Advice Could Be Wrong
And remember you don't know everything. Wisdom must be tempered by the fact that it is greatly influenced by the past. The future is inherently different and knowledge and wisdom must be applied carefully.
Your advice just might be wrong: for that person or situation.
What have you accomplished that others thought you couldn't? Do you support others in what they do? What motivates your behaviour on this?
I know I have some practicing and learning to do on this score myself; especially when I am on a down cycle.